My 1st Year As A Residential Care Worker
It’s been a year since I joined Epworth Home Sweet Home as a Residential Care Worker. A children home for boys (7–12 years old) who have experienced some abuse. It was the only job that I applied for back in 2022 — knowing full well that this was all I wanted to do, to be involved in the lives of the next generation. And I truly thank God for the past year because I’ve learnt so much more about the Father’s Heart than I could ever elsewhere.
When I first started this job, I kept recommending everyone to work at a children home at least once in their life. It’s a wonderful place to learn and experience what parenting is like firsthand. Not only that, it enlarges one’s capacity to love and to care for others.
Here are 8 reflections that I wrote during my 1st year:
1. Every life matters to God (25/4/22–1148pm).
These boys, having gone through many traumatic experiences, will react and respond in ways unimaginable. Throughout the day, we’ll see screaming, fighting, throwing tantrum, scolding vulgarities, boys hurting themselves and sometimes destroying property.
But at the end of the day when these boys go to bed, it still hits me every time. Just looking at the way they sleep, it’s really like “aww”. Despite all the things they do during the day, they are still like any child when they go to sleep. They are still human and they are still loved by God nonetheless.
I have to learn to overlook the behaviorial issues that they display throughout the day and to look at every one of them as a life that is important to God.
2. We Are In The Business Of Second Chances (4/6/22–432pm) .
These boys are in this home not because they did anything wrong but life circumstance has placed them here. For many of these boys — they can’t, don’t know how to or will not give themselves a 2nd chance.
I’ve learnt that while it may be draining at times to consistently invest in their lives, but to them, we are possibly the only people who have ever showed them what love really is. As Care Staffs, we are here to walk with them and to help them overcome their past. To give them hope so that they may look to the future with optimism. To equip them with the coping & social skills to be able to live like a normal child. And this would mean learning to put down my ego and to give them countless of opportunities to fail and to learn.
God has never expected perfection from me, so please do not EVER expect your boys to change overnight. DO NOT ever expect perfection from others. You are gonna require a lot of patience, love and care for everyone of them.
3. Anointing Is Needed Whenever There Are Lives Involved (13/8/22–1251am)
Too often do I find myself only asking God for help and for His anointing when I’m preparing for a sharing, when I’m sharing the gospel or when I’m called to pray for someone. But in my current job, I find myself asking God to anoint every word that I say, whether it’s in a casual conversation or scolding. Because in every teachable moment, there are opportunities to speak words of life that would touch and heal these boys’ wounds. And I would pray for and over them like I would do so for my church members.
4. Don’t Stop Learning Just Because Everything Is Going Well (30/8/22–209am)
Don’t get complacent at what you do just because everything seems to be going well. Don’t just scrape by. Do more than that! Keep learning, go do research, read up, watch videos, keep improving and trying new things to help the kids. STOP being stagnant and following the routine of every staff there. There are more new ways yet to be explored. Please go spend your time wisely. If u say u really love, care and want to impact the kids, this is the least you could do for them. Which is to put in effort on your part to find a way. Where is your drive?? Not because the home is chill, can use phone etc, then u be like this. Don’t.
God’s love goes out of the way for people. You should do the same. Don’t be an idiot. Thank you.
5. Love People Like How A Parent Would. (28/9/22–836pm)
Parents are never calculative when it comes to ensuring that their child has everything they need.
What I need to change is my concept of being frugal. One simple instance that made me think about this is when I had to actually reconsider my choice of whether I wanted to travel down to Sembawang to get a name tag for my boy. I started to think of what it would cost me (Time & Money).
And it made me realise how conditional my love for my boy really is.
Please stop your nonsense. If you want to love, please learn to love unconditionally.
6. Separating Work From Personal Life Is Not An Option (6/11/22–155pm)
I was told early on when I started work on the importance of separating my personal life from my work life. And I came to realise it’s not as simple as saying cut means cut. It doesn’t work like that. I can’t cut my boys off from my life just because it’s my off day.
If I say I truly love and care for them, then even on my off days, I should use that time to bring them out and take care of them like they are my kids.
I have gone about this the wrong way.
Growing up, I always learn more and enjoy more when I was outside. But imagine being a kid stuck in a system, stuck in a home, stuck in a routine for 1 year… only being able to go out every few months? That sucks.
Please Jotham. Go out of your way for these boys, no matter how tired or busy you are. If you are a father, you won’t care about separating “work” boys from your own boys.
I admit that I sometimes bring my boy out because of the OT pay. When my hours are negative, I don’t even consider bringing them out. But no more of such nonsense.
Right now, this is my work leh. How can I tell my kid I’m busy. If I can’t even manage this, what more when I become a parent with a job outside of the home.
Having been called to love others, how can I say that I have no time for others.
7. Investing In Lives Requires You To Go All The Way (8/11/22–1024pm)
When it comes to investing in lives, it comes with having to spend money, time, going out of the way and inconveniencing yourself for the person. Not doing it because I’m supposed to, but because I love the person.
It includes loving them even through the times where you don’t feel good about yourself or when you ain’t doing good yourself.
As a father, you wouldn’t give up on your child just because the season is hard.
I prepared and dressed up for my boy, arrived early to his school to pick him up as though as I’m going on a date. And I felt God’s love in doing that. Because it is exactly what He would do for us. The last time me would have dressed lupsup for my boy because, why bother? He’s just a kid. But I felt the need to do so, and God just reminded me that is exactly what He would do for us everytime we are with Him.
He would go out of the way to prepare Himself just to meet with us.
And I always told myself that in future, I wanna bring my kids out on a 1–1 date every month, to just spend time with them and to show them the kind of man they ought to be or the kind of man they ought to marry.
And now I have the chance to do so for my boy.
So the reason for this as I reflected was because we were told to separate our personal lives from our work lives. So I did that. When I’m not at work, I don’t think about my boy, I don’t think about bringing my boy out. But recently as God has been speaking to me, is that, I can’t separate myself from my boy even if I’m out of work. I have to spend time with my boy. And frankly speaking, previously I would do it for the extra hours that I can claim at work (work is work and if im not getting paid, why would I do this?) but this time I said no, I need to do it because I love my boy.
8. God’s Thoughts For Us Are Endless (20/2/23–118am)
I now truly understand what it means to have and to know the Father’s heart. After working here for a year, this verse makes so much more sense to me now.
“How precious to me are your thoughts, God! How vast is the sum of them! Were I to count them, they would outnumber the grains of sand — when I awake, I am still with you.”
Psalms 139:17–18 NIV
During my time here, I’ve been constantly thinking and fighting for the best for my boys. Even on my rest days, when I receive a text about how they are doing at home or in school, my mind automatically kicks in, “how can I help my boy get better? What should I do to teach him about this?” And I rejoice with them when I receive good news about their progress
It’s been an amazing year working in a Children’s Home. I’m loving every moment of it. Not too sure how long more, but till God leads me to the next placement.
